The funniest shit I've ever heard in #dc-stuff

Druashi: I demand that I am Vroomfondel
DarcElf: I demand that he demands that he's vroomfondel
DarcElf: you don't have to demand that I demand for I have already made that demand.... oh yea
Druashi: I demand that darcelf may or may not exist
DarcElf: I demand that I do not... but since I do not, I cannot demand that which I am or am not
Druashi: Upon further review, the committee deciding whether or not to demand that darcelf exists has stated "We demand that we feel no strong compulsion one way or the other"


sqweak: theres a dru on my couch
sqweak: and i'm not sure how he got there
sqweak: cause he wasn't there when i went to sleep
DarcElf: has a way of getting back home huh... doesn't matter how far out into the forest you take him....
sqweak: heh


Sangfroid

so i just called my boss
(i'm at home)
and i said 'my grandma died again'
he says, 'ok, so you slept late'
me, 'yep, and i'm not coming in till after lunch'
him, 'asshole'
me, 'suckit fag..go to my 9am meeting, thanks'
*click* brrrrrrr.....
i love my boss.

Turns out Sangfroid is an endless source of humour in #dc-stuff... here's more :)

Sangfroid - how did i end up spending $700.00 to redecorate a bathroom?
bansh33 - Did you retile?
Sangfroid - nope
bansh33 - New tub?
Sangfroid - i'm talking: trash can, shower curtain, rugs, lil things
talis - Sangfroid: you got off cheap.. i asked a contractor friend, and he quoted over 2500
Sangfroid - NO
talis - ouch
Sangfroid - you guys are misunderstanding
talis - just accessories?
Sangfroid - $700.00 at bed bath and beyond
Sangfroid - yes
bansh33 - JUST redecorating..
talis - were they freaking gold?
bansh33 - OUCH
Sangfroid - like the bathroom rug was $90.00
bansh33 - That's a little over the top.
Sangfroid - mind you, it's like 2" thick
Ne0nRa1n - yah, for me too, but i am cheap
Sangfroid - the trash can is some silver metal: $70.00
Ne0nRa1n - and luxary doesn't come cheap
Ne0nRa1n - yikes!
Druashi - whee... flash crash course...
Sangfroid - matching soap tray and toothbrush holder $50.00
* Sangfroid shakes his head.
Sangfroid - although
Ne0nRa1n - well, the important thing is that your both happy, sang
Sangfroid - she did save about $1000.00 by making the living room tables
talis - Sangfroid: i found it's easier to just shrug that off, if it makes the woman happy. they will get pissed every time they go to the bathroom otherwise
Sangfroid - which is bad
Ne0nRa1n - it's only money
Sangfroid - cause they are touching their vagina at that time
Sangfroid - and then everytime they touch their vagina, they are unhappy?
bansh33 - HAHAHAHHA


Sangfroid

A guy goes to teh doctor
older man, hard of hearing
His doctor says to him "I need a sperm sample, a urine sample, and a stool sample!"
He says "WAHT????!~~"
the doctor asks again, and he still cna't hear him
His wife screams at him "HE NEEDS YOUR UNDERWEAR!!!"


if there's anything on here that you want removed, just ask me